At Last, An Audience

 

(bird noises, park and kids. J enters as a mime with hat, puts hat down, gets ready, pauts dollars in hat and freezes. S enters, ignores J, eventually robs him. J’s sad until a bright light hits with a funky sound effects with Close Encounters music)

Alien: I am the leader Zordan from the planet Zeno
Mime: Yeah, but what do you want with me?
Alien: We need more mimes.
Mime: Well, I’m not a mime.
Alien: Yes, you are.
Mime: No, No way. I hate mimes.
Alien: We’ve been watching you.
Mime: Do what?
Alien: Standing still.
Mime: No, wait a minute, let’s get this straightened out. That standing still, thst’s yoga. We do this a lot here. I don’t even look like  amime. I’m on my way to a formal black tie affair. And this, you propably think this is make up don’t you? It’s bullfrog sunblock. I worry about skin cancer you know which I bet that light isn’t helping a whole lot. Can I go now?
Alien: What about the hat?
Mime: That’s not a hat, it’s a chair, see? (he sits on the hat like mime)
Alien: See, you are a mime.
Mime: No, no I’m not. And don’t call me that. All my life, my friends, my family, my dog, everyone made fun of me and called me a mime, but I am not a mime… I am an actor.
Alien: We need more actors.
Mime: Alright, well what’s in it for me?
Alien: An audience.
Mime: A big audience?
Alien: Yes, with money.
Mime: Well, occasionally I mime, well, yeah, yeah, I’m a mime. I’m a mime, OK? All right, I’ll bite. I’ll do it. So what do I need to do?
Alien: We need two hot dogs.
Mime: Huh? What is this some kind of joke? Hot dogs?
Alien: Look in your pocket (two dollars have appeared, and he takes them out)
Mime: Wow, cool, that was a good trick. I could use a tall leggy blonde for trip.
Alien: Don’t push it.
Mime: That’s funny, that’s great, this is great. We are going to get along wonderfully. I can’t wait. An audience.. money… I can handle this… I’m ready….
Alien: Are you sure you are a mime?
Mime: Yeah. Yeah I am a mime.
Alien: Then shut up… and get me my hot dogs.