The Audition part 1

 

D: Alright, slate for me
1: I’m  Ron Benson. You know I know you.
D: I don’t think so. OK, here’s your script, read it over real quick, lemme know when you’re ready (hands script to Ron) Alright, you ready?
1: Well, I was going to read it over first.
D: OK, take your time (side talk)
1: OK
D: Great, great, alright, Any time there, go ahead
1: (takes a breath) MMM, biscuits.
D: OK, thank you Ron, that’s good.
1: I’ll see you around.
D: (vamp) 35 let’s go!!!
2: Hey remember me… Michael Bradley, yeah, we worked on the Gaffers thing down in…. Hey I got you a thank you card, and some cookies and some bottles water if you get thirsty, OK
D: Thank you
2: Hey no problem, back when we were in birmingham…
D: No thank you. (waves bye)
2: Oh… hey thanks for the opportunity… Michael Bradley, OK?.
D: Uh Huh. Right. (vamp) Yeah? 35?
3: Balloon delivery.
D: What is this?
3: It’s ahhh…. Thank you, oh thank you, oh thank you thank you thank you, from Michael Bradley.
D: What are you talking about? Wait, was that that kid that was just in here?
3: Yeah he just gave me 35 bucks.
D: 35 bucks? OK, I’m going to give you 100 dollars… alright?… 100 dollars.. what’s your name?
3: Tim Brown
D: Tiiiiiim… Broooown. (as he writes)  Alright, I want you to go out there, and make that kid feel like a real loser. OK? I don’t ever want him sending me any more balloons in here. I never want to see that kid again.
3: 100 bucks talks.
D: Here you go. Oh yeah, and I want to hear him crying, OK? You better do a good job. (boys walks out of the room)
3: Hey Michael… Michael Bradley… (singing) you’re climbing the ladder to schwagville. (starts singing loser song)
Michael Bradley: Hey come on man, I’m a really good actor, man, I know a lot of people.
3: But you’re a loser….
Michael Bradley: but you’re just a balloon delivery guy…
D: hahahahahaha (vamp)
D: Hey what’s going on we got 36?
4: Hey dude, what’s going on buddy?
D: Alright, first of all, I’m not your buddy… I’m your director. OK? Let’s start off on the right foot.
4: Oh OK.
D: Alright, you know the script?
4: No they didn’t give me one, man
D: No of course they didn’t give you one out there… what sense would that be? That would just make things go faster, right? OK. Here you go. (hands him the script) Look it over. OK. You ready?
4: Alright, just anytime?
D: Yeah (to his invisible camera guy) you rolling?
4: Ummmmm…. (pause)…. Cool biscuits man.
D: Alright.. first of all kid… you’re playing a character here, you’re not playing yourself, second of all, the script says, MMM biscuits… MMM biscuits!!!! We have writers.. we paid them lots of money to come up with that script that says MMM biscuits, so if you could at least try it again.
4: You don’t have to harsh my gig man.
D: I’ll harsh whatever I want to.
4: (really trying for a stoner dumbass) MMM biscuits. (looks proud of himself)
D: That was ahhh.. that was pretty good… ahhh.. what we want.. we want everyone to think we have the best biscuits in the world. So I need like. Really enthusiastic big ol’ biscuits.
4: MMMMMM MMMMM biscuits!
D: Ok I need bigger, I need bigger than that…
4: (over the top for a stoner) MMMMMMMMMMMMM biscuits cool buddy…. It’s a diggity roll.
D: That looks like you got really thirsty here, so I’ve got some bottle water for ya, and I’ve even got some cookies for you, if you want ‘em.
4: On no man, I’m cutting back on my sugar..
D: Right, right, hey, well thank you very much and you know there’s a check waiting for you right outside that door.
4: Oh you’re kidding man, … hey, do you have any pot man?
D: No!.. no.. say no the drugs kid, get outta here!!! Can you believe this?.. (to his camera man) I gotta get out of here for second.