Spy vs Spy

 

Starts out with music intro. We stand out on a corner. (street noises in background) J looks at S and takes out cigarette very deliberately. S takes out lighter and coolly walks over to try to light it. He can’t, and after a few tries, J grabs the lighter, flicks the safety proof feature, and hands the lighter back to S. S lights cig. Puts lighter first in one pocket, then moves it to shirt pocket instead. J recognizes the signal, pulls an envelope from his pocket to show S, then slides it back in. J speaks.

J: The flashlight shone bright over yon dew covered hill.
S: Shouldn’t you?…
J: Shhhh… not here. (does a small ballet dance, stops and repeats angrily) The flashlight shone bright over yon dew covered hill!
S: (trying to remember) Old Mc Donald had a cat in the hat, and the dish ran away with the spoon.
J: (Does a karate routine) The man with the plan is sitting on the can.
S: I don’t understand.
J: Shhh….
S: (frustrated, then remembers his pocket guide. Takes it out, looks up the right passage) Ohhh, um… the soothsayer speaks in Chinese weeks.
J: Would I like to go bowling tonight?
S: Huh.. Oh.. (looks at book cover) Oh, last year’s edition.
J: Shh… no more words. (begins an elaborate dance)
S: (shrugs)
J: (begins a simpler dance)
S: (shrugs again)
J: Fine! (begins charades. Holds up one finger)
S: One word, one syllable. Got it
(they both proceed to discover the word “key”, and when S finally gets, J is exasperated)
S: Oh, a key.. I’ve got one for you!!! (pulls out key a key and throws it to J, J pulls out an envelope and throws it to the ground, knees him in the nuts while flicking S off, and exits)
S: What?